The Art of Slut Shaming

 

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Above collage created by me, but none of the images are mine

Slut Shaming: An unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity.

Urban Dictionary

Happy Valentines Day.


Read & Listen:

London Bridge – Fergie

Salute – Little Mix

Slut Like You – P!nk

Once Upon A Time – Mariah Lynn


 

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The funny thing is, I love “freezing people in time”. Have you heard of that phrase? It’s quite new to me, too. Basically, if someone says something you don’t like, you have to remember that people make mistakes. Just because he made a sexist joke as a freshman in high school, doesn’t mean he’s the same person as a freshman in college. You can’t hate that person four years later for what they said four years ago. However, I literally do that. It’s so hard to not remember the racist thing she said in US Gov. senior year, and of course if a friend talks about that person I’ll always say, “Did you know in government she said…” just to remind them that this person isn’t someone they should really interact with.

 

Now we get to the funny part. I was on Facebook trying to find a specific post from an early teen to show my friends, and on the walk down memory lane… I came across the craziest amount of slut shaming. Like me posting insane things. And if someone were to see that from 8th grade and remember that and tell people not to interact with me because of the stupid things I said about girls, and morals and sex, I would be really upset. The first thing I would probably say would be, “But that was years ago! You can’t judge me for that”. Hypocritical, I know. Everyone has something to work on.

 

But remembering that, I think I’m now back pedaling. Like hard. Now any form of slut shaming I hear, I snap back quick with no warning. Which brings me to one of my recent examples.

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It’s this past Christmas break, and it was the last time I wanted to hear about a girl’s “body count”. So I tell the person, constantly harping on whatever girl she hardly knows but loves to talk about, to stop talking about “body counts”. This, my friends, is an example of slut shaming. A clear example. If you hear anyone talking about another girl’s sex life in a negative manner, 1) it’s none of their/your business anyways, no matter what they have to say about it and 2) putting someone down because the amount of people they slept with is disgusting. Any girl or guy can do whatever they want with their bodies. Literally. And they should do it without being judged, so if you hear something like that, or even catch yourself, give that person (or yourself) a 60 second lesson on why and how to never do that again. Why: see above. How: connect your top lip and your bottom lip, remain that way until your urge to shame subsides.

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The bra thing. Whether your for the Free the Nipple and/or Burn the Bra movement, refer back to the “How” of never shaming again. Example! I was recently in the dining hall, living my life and probably giggling about something dumb, when a girl walks by. I never saw the girl, but someone at my table did. And apparently, it affected them deeply. The girl they saw wasn’t wearing a bra, and it was enough for them to stop eating and really, actually, start complaining about why this girl should put on a bra and they don’t get why girls don’t wear bras when they are in public. ??????? Can we just sit in confusion for a few seconds… Ok so I do a few facial expressions of “What is she saying and why is she saying it”, in a funny way not in a rude way, and then I chuckle, and I say I hardly ever wear a bra in public (this, btw, is false. A lie. An inaccurate statement. I’m actually really afraid of judgement, clearly, when it comes to not wearing a bra, so I get really scared when it comes to not wearing one in public unless I have a big sweater. That was one lie I actually don’t feel bad about). A friend of mine jumps in and says she hardly wears one too, and neither one of us see an issue with it. The conversation ended right then and there, and I continued eating my broccoli and tagging people in funny instagram photos.

 

Looking back on these two out of many instances, I kind of hope people don’t see me as some type of slut police or something foolish. Now it’s just like nails to a chalk board. I literally can’t hear stuff like that without a reaction anymore.

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Moral of the story, just because she sleeps with a number of boys that you find overwhelming, doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about herself or doesn’t have morals. Just because she doesn’t wear a bra or she likes to show off her body on social media, doesn’t mean she doesn’t care enough about herself or doesn’t have morals.

 

Just because she wears clothes you find provocative doesn’t mean she’s asking for it.

 

I know this stuff seems obvious, but clearly it’s not. And if one day you’re at a party and you see the same girl from last weekend going home with a different guy this weekend, think What Would A Dude Do, and cheer her on (probably just in your head) instead of scrunching up your nose to her. She’s confident in her sexuality, and that confidence leaves literally no room for you to judge. After your have a little round of applause in your mind, go back to what you were doing. You want to have good memories of your night to tell your other friends, not rumors and nasty comments of someone else’s night.

 

 

Class dismissed,

Ken

 

P.S. This post doesn’t really go that in depth and it certainly has a lot of slang and grammatical errors, so if you want to feel more informed, I bet there are a lot of blogs and/or books that can help educate you more!

 

P.P.S. Remember, everyone makes mistakes! I was once the people I try to correct. I probably have those thoughts once in a while too.

 

P.P.P.S. Discussion Question: should we reclaim the word slut/hoe or decide to not use it anymore?

 

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The Art of Slut Shaming

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