5 Ways I Have Changed (or haven’t)

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•ft. pics by me from college•

Listen & Read (songs I’ve found out about during college):

Swim Deep – Brolin

How Deep Is Your Love – Calvin Harris (watch the music video!)

Lola – The Kinks

      First semester down. I did it. How? That’s a good question. Unfortunately,  I have no idea. Leadership 101 killed me and I gained 20 pounds! But here I am, in my childhood house (I enjoy calling my dorm “home”) typing and listening to Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl’s podcast(someone tell me they listen to it too) and spending my literal last cents (I have $2 left to my name) to online shopping.

But, let us rewind. I’ve seen a few people saying how much they/others have changed since the summer. So I’m gonna self-analyze, here. I have a few ways (p.s. I haven’t thought of them yet) that I have changed since the start of college… Or how I can argue that I’ve stayed the same.

philosophy majors/minors tell me if my argument is valid bc I took a philosophy class and I still barely understand anything about philosophy

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     My slang has no boundaries. changed. I used to have my mom to correct me or my dad to make fun of me for saying a sentence so southern, so youthful, so “internet” it barely makes sense. It went from mocking to actually becoming my language. Nowadays, I’m pretty sure none of anything I say is comprehendible, but my friends understand, and that’s really all that matters.
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     I speak up when I want answers. changed. Ok so this is somewhat of a lie-truth. In my art history class when the professor asks us to discuss, I will start sweating and begin to scribble in my notebook, hoping she won’t randomly call on me since my head is down. In my world politics class, I just never spoke up because I didn’t know what the hell was happening, never ever. But that’s different from wanting answers. A few examples: In my German class, if I don’t understand something, which is majority of the time, I raise my hand without thinking twice. I would NEVER do that in high school. If I wanted to know a German word, I just ask… As you might know, I like to use disposable cameras. It takes seven days to get them developed. I think I was over being patient 15 days later. I called CVS that day. I would NEVER DO THAT IN HIGHSCHOOL. It would be three months later and I’m still waiting on that phone call. I would have to get my mom to call them or drive all the way up here to claim my prize. Is this confidence or maturity? Maybe a little bit of both. *Grinch smile*
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     I have to talk to my bestfriends or else I will not function. not changed. Even when I knew my friends were on the next hall, I would still be going back and forth with them through text. Even when we were in the same CLASS, we would be texting each other as to not get yelled at by the teacher. Now, being hours away, nothing has changed. I have a good memory, and like to tap into it frequently, and I can’t tell my new friends (I’ve tried it out before; it’s usually only funny when you were there) about the crazy nights of being so sober you’ve gone insane. I spend all my life tagging my friends in Instagram posts, using Facetime more than ever before, and making sure they remember that embarrassing moment from junior year. Also I like sending them stuff; having a sheet of postage stamps makes me feel so good inside.
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      I keep shit clean… kind of. changed/not changed. I literally made my bed everyday until mid terms, and my desk being messy makes me crazy. But my floor next to my desk is a travesty. It’s just so HARD to put my books and notebooks back on the shelf when I literally have to take it out the next day. But I do make sure to wipe stuff down when it gets too dirty, and ALWAYS pick up your own hair balls! Because I literally gag seeing other people’s hair.
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     My reading obsession is never ending. not changed. Regardless of the fact that the last two books I read did not live up to my expectations (Moonglass and Unteachable; tell me if you want ’em I shall send them), I won’t give up. I have an Amazon save for later that is FULL of so many books. If you just need to have to chill out, open up a good book. Especially if you get headaches after being on technology for too long, like me!
     And there it is. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to change or not change at all, as long as changing is for the better or not changing is for the better! But don’t not change just because you are afraid to become a different person (does that make sense?), because maybe the newer version of you is exactly who you want to be and you would have never known had you stayed the older you (am I literally making any sense?). Analyzing yourself isn’t the same has beating yourself up either! Keep that in mind. Basically stay true to yourself, but don’t be afraid of change. Ok I’m done talking.
5 Ways I Have Changed (or haven’t)

2 thoughts on “5 Ways I Have Changed (or haven’t)

  1. Completely agree with speaking up and using your voice as something that changes in you your first semester. The first time something doesn’t go your way, you suddenly realize that no one is going to make it happen for you or help make it happen – you at last understand you have to take matters into your own hands.

    Liked by 1 person

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